warped humor version of the off-leash park rules

Clean up the poop, lickety split

We don’t want our shoes to get covered in ….

Leash your dog when you arrive at the park

Or Salisbury Road traffic may hear his last bark

If you let your dog bully and make other dogs cry

You may have to kiss your membership goodbye

Let someone in through the member gate

And we’ll wish for you a terrible fate

If a smoker keeps throwing his butts on the ground

The dog park police will oust him and his hound

Little kids love to scream when they play

Too bad some large dogs may mistake them for prey

Do not bring your child if he’s less than four feet

Some of the dogs here like children to eat

(Carried babies are fine!)

If your male dog’s balls have not had the snip

Then to Dog Wood Park do not make a trip

(Puppies under 8 months of age are fine!)

If a doggie argument turns into a fight

Do not grab the dog’s collar or you may feel the bite

Then what should you do if a dog fight does start?

Grab each dog by the hindquarters and pull them apart

If your dog is not healthy or is carrying fleas

Turn right around and go home, pretty please

Coming to the park with a female in season

Proves you’re completely lacking in reason

I am truly sorry if these verses offend

At least, thank goodness, they’ve come to an end

Lynn Badger, Owner, Dog Wood Park of Jacksonville